Helga: Bitter Ex-Bunneh

Bettie Page in Vegas

2011-06-21T08:30:00.000-07:00

On a recent trip to Vegas, Helga Bitter finds the Bettie Page clothing store!
LEOPARD PRINT GALORE!!!

Helga also got to touch Penn and Teller.
Weeeee!!!

Helga knows.... pic or it didn't happen

Science Fiction Cons are weird.

2010-07-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

I can't believe Bardawill dragged me to this thing.

Still I did learn something.

Zombie condoms exist.
Who knew?

Bitter TV Episode One

2010-07-09T09:51:00.000-07:00

Hi peeps!

Helga Bitter here!!

Lookie! I gots my own TV channel thingie!
**Much** easier than a book thingie!! Spelling not so much of an issue.
Bardawill being a poop as always.
Apparently she says I need something called "content".

I'm sure Walmart has some. I'll just pop over later.

http://www.funnyordie.com/eannbardawill
http://www.youtube.com/user/EAnnBardawill

Robin Barnard isn't fooling anyone.

2010-06-15T11:24:00.000-07:00

The genius behind "photo primitivism" is so full of himself his ego needs to get its stomach stapled.

I see David Slim is all over this guy in glamourpuss #12. I remain unimpressed.
All that false modesty just makes the rest of us look bad.

My Zombie Blog is UP

2010-05-18T09:31:00.000-07:00

Helga Bitter's Zombie Blog:

Typical Bardawill... we work on this thing for days and all she can see is that stupid TYPO! eeeesh!

Also at YouTube: channel EAnnBardawill
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxCwnapwBLE

I gots me a publishing credit!

2010-04-17T08:10:00.001-07:00

Like, Bardawill was going over my resume and said I cannot put the 'Queen of the Universe' as an occupation. Spoilsport!
Anyway, she got me a gig for a two page glamourpuss thingie for a comic book -Cerebus Readers In Crisis #5. The editor was like, amazed by my writing. He said I had more ... how did he put it... 'inane typos per square inch of copy than anyone else he'd ever worked with'.

GO ME!!

On Zombies and other weirdness

2010-04-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

So like, Bardawill is almost done post-production on my new short, Helga Bitter's Zombie Blog. She's says this sort of thing takes time, especially if she wants to get permission to legally use pop songs and stuff.
She saying just gacking stuff off the internet is unethical.

I must look that word up. People keep using it around me, but I am not certain what it means...

My career gets weirder

2010-03-10T11:28:00.000-08:00

The book is on hold, due to what Bardawill calls "a revolting lack of content" and her constant whining about how I just can't ''make things up'.

So, to make me more interesting she's arranged for me to be in some sort of Zombie film.

I hope I get to wear something pretty.

When Bunnehs Attack

2009-12-26T12:27:00.000-08:00

It's a very sad thing when ex - Bunnehs get all bent outta shape and try to stuff another girl's head down a UK toilet:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/8428367.stm

Or like when Hef's twins attacked another woman with a beer bottle last year:
http://snagwiremedia.com/hugh-hefnor%E2%80%99s-new-playboy-rabid/

It's just so tacky!
In my day, one just spread rilly nasty rumours about other chicks one rilly hated.

What's the world coming to?

I blame reality TV.

Some girls have ALL the luck.

2009-12-12T11:34:00.000-08:00

Hey darhlings!! Helga is back AGAIN.

Like, I just wanted to mention I have never slept or "done the 19th Hole" with Tiger Woods.

...

I did play golf once, but the Manager threw me out becuz apparently taking off your clothes to go get your bloddy expensive ball out of those stupid little ponds they idiotically put all over the place is against club rules or something.

Like, if I had KNOWN that I would have brought more than one of the stupid things.

Anyway, just wanted to say that.

2009-12-12T11:07:00.000-08:00

Hi peeps,
Helga here!

So like, Bardawill is totally NAGGING me to write down stuff that happens to me, so she can yanno, turn it into literhautcouture or something. So seeing as it is Christmas I thought I ought to talk about G.N.O.M.E.s.

Geriatric Naughty Old Men, Eek!!

Like it USED to be if a girl wanted to date some GNOME for his dough (IE: Anna Nicole Smith - R.I.P. Babee!) it was unlikely that GNOME expected any real hanky panky in return. The idea being the blonde bit o' arm candy around was rather like his Porsche, his Rolex or his Lear jet. She was an accessory only. A bit o' human bling to show off even though he didn't really need/use her. She might do a bit of personal assisting, like yanno, pushing his wheelchair thingie through airport security or something, but nothing strenuous or icky.

Viagra changed all that. Now these old coots think they're still in the game, and this makes flirting with GNOMES dangerous for the mild-mannered gold digger.

Like, just the other day, this GNOME (pushing 85+ or so) started kissing my hand, and like EW!! marking marks on my knuckles with his dentures, and THEN he made an indecent proposal and was like, TOTALLY serious!!

This fiesty geriatric had pimped out his walker with little flames and shiny chrome wheel rims and I was , all "Ummmm.... Oh look! A bus!" and just ran for it.

After I got home, I took a long shower, curled up into a ball and watched my DYNASTY dvds.

Better living through chemisty, my ass!

Still bitter after all these years.

2009-12-03T09:03:00.000-08:00

Like, yanno... hi.

My name is Helga Bitter. Former Playbonk Bunneh, 1989.

My therapist sez a journal might, yanno, release some of the tenshun and neghativity I'm feeling now that my divorce proceeding are in year TEN! OMG!!

Gary, my EX, is STILL is still fighting over Piddles, my chihauhau (or like HOWEVEH you spell it), so I am really mad about that. I am writing a tell all book about -like EVERYTHING.

It's gonna be called Bitter Bunneh, or something like that. I have to have a ghost righer to fix my spelling, but that's ok. I totally hate that stuff.

Oh, yeah. Happy thought!
Bought a leopard print cowboy hat! Wheee!